5 Reasons Why Romania Doesn't Text Anymore
by Miistical
Summary: Something always went wrong; whether it was a friend, bad typing, bad English, or that stupid autocorrect.


This is why I love dA everybody XD

-RMS

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**Number One**

All Romania wished for was to text his best friend Bulgaria. Sadly, his phone didn't wish to cooperate.

Romania was with the rest of the Magic Trio, England and Norway respectively, when an... interesting, uh, _situation_ popped up. England accidentally casted the wrong spell during their meeting, causing the poor Romanian to become increasingly hairy. While England was flipping out and Norway was trying to find the counter-spell, Romania thought it was the funniest thing ever and decided that Bulgaria had to see it.

Locating his phone and being able to see what he wrote took some time and effort, but eventually Romania got his phone out just enough to type out "Salut draga!". Romania remembered Bulgaria saying something about a meeting, and hoped that his best friend would be able to see this utter chaos. Thankfully Bulgaria was near his phone, and so ignoring the regular "Hello dear!" from Romania, responded with a questioning "Aren't you with the Magic Trio?". Romania puffed some hair out of his eyes, trying to get the buttons just right (why they were so small, he had to clue).

Bulgaria checked his phone to see Romania's text back ("Da! Are you still here? I really want to see you.") and promptly returned with a "Yes I'm still here.".

And this is where Romania's phone decided to be a _dick._

Coughing out some hair he accidentally inhaled, Romania did two things wrong. One: He turned his autocorrect on. And two: _He didn't ask for help._ Which lead him to text his friend back: "Good, Anglia cast a spell on me and made me really horny." Thinking he put 'hairy', Romania blissfully unaware sent the message. However, there was a delayed response from his friend, which gave him enough time to find a pair of scissors and cut the incredibly long bangs. After that, and the multiple checkings of his phone in between the task, he got an answer back in the form of a disturbed "Uhhh..." from Bulgaria. And poor Romania only made it worse by adding on: "Da! it's really long."

It wasn't until later that Romania stopped pouting at why his friend didn't show up.  
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**Number Two**

Instead of his phone being a dick, it was a dickish friend.

Having bothered C.B earlier in the day, C.B retaliated by taking Romania's phone and texting Hungary. Of course, thinking of nothing better, C.B went with the standard "I love you." fake text. C.B hadn't anticipated getting a response so soon, but with the fast-pace banging of boots downstairs, she wouldn't let this opportunity slide. Texting a "I really love you." to Hungary's "You what?" gave C.B a few moments to giggle before a crazy-eyed Romania bursted through the door and jumped her.

While wrestling for his phone, Hungary texted back. It took a few minutes, but Romania managed to get his phone back; sitting on C.B for good measure. (C.B was not happy.) Checking his phone, Romania groaned in misery into his hand. Silently, with a little whine coming out, he reread Hungary's "Are you drunk?" and messaged back: "Nu, C.B stole my phone." before flopping back on C.B- ignoring her struggles and gasps of "Get off, you're too heavy."- and kind of... moaned at the ceiling in the 'oh woe as me' way he was good at.

**Number Three**

This one wasn't even his fault! Romania blames his sister entirely for this one. Still though, it _was_ pretty funny.

It was getting late and Romania still didn't hear from his younger sister, Transylvania. So, being a good big brother, he checked in to make sure she was safe. Looking through his contacts, he selected 'Sora Mai Mic' and proceeded to text "Where are you?". Waiting for only a moment or two, Transylvania texted back with her answer. Gaping, Romania blinked at his screen in confusion. He looked up, then back down, left and right. Blinking again, he slowly typed out his message to his sister. Rereading her answer, his wide eyes still in a stated of bemused shock, he sent his message.

The sentence running through his mind, Romania just shrugged. His sisters' nonchalant answer of "With America. He's watching Dracula again and wanting me to bang with him." confused him out of his normal protective-big brother instinct. This time he reread his own text- "Okay, as long as he's wearing a condom. And tell him he's going to get cockpunched."- chuckling as he awaited a response from his sister.

Oh man, this _has_ to be good.

Romania chuckled some more when he heard his phone ring as another text welcomed him. A slightly disturbed "What. I meant hang with him. Really?" was read and all Romania could do was shrug, smirk, and type back "Either way he's going to get cockpunched."

**Number Four**

Yeah, Romania blames autocorrect for this one BIG TIME.

It was 9 o'clock PM and he was bored; doing nothing but laying on his bed. Rolling over, Romania reached for his phone and decided that now was the best time to aggravate a certain Hungarian. Starting off the whining spree was a drawn out "I'm tireeedddd." Almost immediately- how Hungary does that, Romania was scared to now- an already annoyed-sounding text lit up his screen. Rolling his eyes at her response- "it's 9 at night and your tired? I thought you were nocturnal?"- Romania typed back "I am but I spent all day getting ducks and I'm worn out."

_However_, it seemed like his phone really did not like ducks.

Seeing nothing wrong with his text, he was a little confused at Hungary's questioning "Huh with who?" and told her "Moldova, why?". Her next text startled him into looking back at his text, wondering _what the fuck his phone sent. _Groaning in utter misery, Hungary's "YOU BANGED YOUR BROTHER?!" made sense as the phone sent 'getting fucked' instead of 'getting ducks'.

Screw it being only 9 o'clock, Romania was ready to sleep now.

**Number Five**

This one was just... weird. So, so weird.

Romania texted C.B, wondering if she had a pen he could borrow for the time being, as his ran out of ink. Harmless text, really. **Not for Romania.**

Texting what he thought was "Do you have a pen I could barrow?", Romania sent his text as "Do you have a penis I could barrow?". _That wasn't the weird part though._

After a few minutes, C.B texted back an interested "What happened to yours?" Responding in kind, Romania told her "It ran dry, I need a knew one." Not knowing what she thought and what he thought, Romania saw no reason to be wary. That is, until her next text that consisted of "Sorry my supply of male reproductive organs ran out yesterday..."

With thin lips and wide eyes, Romania didn't even bother rereading their conversation- it was obvious what was typed instead!- and so proceeded to abuse the caps lock with "PEN I NEED A PEN".

Really, his English isn't that good, but this was ridiculous! Hence why Romania doesn't text anymore.


End file.
